Wondering how to get over a breakup? Explore 16 ways to help you deal with heartbreak. Plus, different types of breakups and how long it takes to get over them.

Going through a relationship breakup can be an intensely emotional and challenging experience. It’s a time filled with a mix of emotions like sadness, loneliness, and sometimes relief. Understanding the different aspects of a breakup and learning ways to cope can make this difficult time a bit easier to navigate.

Going through a relationship breakup can be an intensely emotional and challenging experience. It’s a time filled with a mix of emotions like sadness, loneliness, and sometimes relief. Understanding the different aspects of a breakup and learning ways to cope can make this difficult time a bit easier to navigate.

8 types of breakups

Understanding the nature of your breakup, and the why behind the break, can be an important step in the healing process. Different types of breakups carry their own set of challenges and emotional responses. Recognizing the type you are experiencing can offer some context and help you recognize that what you are going through is a normal part of the healing process.

1. Mutual decision to part ways

This is when both parties agree that parting ways is the best decision for them. Despite its mutual nature, it can still be painful as it marks the end of a shared journey.

2. Circumstantial breakup 

Sometimes external factors that are beyond control of either partner lead to a breakup. This could include long-distance challenges, career demands, or family issues. These breakups can be particularly hard because your feelings for each other might still be strong.

3. Rift after infidelity 

Infidelity in a relationship often leads to breakups. The betrayal and broken trust can result in intense emotional pain and a complex healing process.

4. Surprise split 

In this type of breakup, one partner may not see the breakup coming and feels blindsided. This can leave them feeling confused and questioning the validity of the entire relationship.

5. The end of first love 

Ending a relationship with your first love can be especially hard, as it often represents not just the loss of a partner but also the end of your first major emotional investment.

6. Conflict-driven breakup 

These breakups occur due to ongoing conflicts or differences, such as communication issues or codependency struggles, that can’t be solved. They can be draining and may leave both parties feeling exhausted and frustrated.

7. Growing apart

Sometimes, people grow apart. In these cases, one or both partners may feel that they need to end the relationship in order to continue growing individually.

8. Ending a toxic relationship 

Leaving a toxic or abusive relationship is both necessary and challenging. It often requires a lot of courage and support, and the aftermath can involve dealing with trauma.

Why do breakups hurt so much?

Confusing and painful feelings are a normal part of the grieving process after a breakup. Acknowledging and accepting the emotional impact of a breakup can help in coping with the pain it brings and be a first step toward healing. You might experience a range of emotions due to:

  • Loss of the emotional investment you’ve made
  • Disrupted daily routines as you part ways
  • Identity shift as you redefine yourself as an individual
  • Changes in social circles and family dynamics
  • Feelings of disappointment over lost dreams
  • Uncertainty about the future
  • Self-doubt and ruminating over what went wrong
  • Fear of being alone
  • Exhaustion and confusion from emotional unpredictability

How to get over a breakup: 16 ways to deal with the heartache

Each of these strategies for coping with a breakup offers a way to not only deal with the pain that comes with the end of a relationship, but also to grow and find joy again in your life. It’s a journey that takes time, and each step forward (no matter how small) is an achievement.

1. Clear out physical reminders

Remove or store away items that remind you of the relationship. This could be photographs, gifts, or your ex’s personal belongings.

2. Avoid rushing back into dating

Give yourself time to heal before you consider dating again. Jumping into a new relationship too soon can complicate your healing process.

3. Exercise patience with yourself

Understand that healing is a process. Be kind to yourself and recognize that it’s okay to have good and bad days.

4. Feel your feelings

Allow yourself to experience and express your emotions—including sadness, anger, and confusion—as bottling up feelings can delay the healing process.

5. Reconnect with joyful activities

Engage in hobbies and activities that you love. This can be an effective way to rediscover happiness and fulfillment on your own.

6. Create new memories

Try new activities, visit new places, or take up new hobbies. Creating new memories can help shift your focus from the past to the present and future.

7. Allow yourself to move forward

Acceptance is key, so acknowledge the end of the relationship and give yourself permission to move forward with your life.

8. Take space from your ex

Limit or cut contact with your ex, especially if it hinders your healing. Social media distancing can also be beneficial.

9. Consider traveling

Changing your environment, even temporarily, can provide a new perspective and a break from routine, which can aid in the healing process.

10. Surround yourself with supportive friends

Lean on your friends and family for support. Sharing your feelings with trusted loved ones can be incredibly therapeutic.

11. Write down your thoughts

Journaling can be a helpful way to process your emotions and clarify your thoughts. Practice daily journaling, either first thing in the morning or before bed.

12. Focus on self-care

Prioritize your wellbeing through activities like exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep. Physical health greatly impacts emotional health.

13. Reflect on personal growth

Use this time to reflect on what you’ve learned from the relationship and how you can grow as an individual. You might also discover what you’re looking for in a future partnership.

14. Set new goals

Setting and working towards new personal or professional goals can provide a sense of purpose and direction post-breakup.

15. Practice mindfulness and meditation

These practices can help manage stress, reduce negative emotions, and improve your overall mental health.

16. Seek therapy if you need extra support

A therapist can provide a safe space to process your emotions and offer constructive advice on the right coping strategies for your circumstances.