Relationships are so many things. They’re exciting, exhausting, blissful and difficult all at the same time. We often think that disagreements in a relationship mean that something is wrong. When in reality, it’s completely normal. When you spend that much time with someone (especially when you get to be in a long-term relationship), it’s bound to happen. It’s frustrating and sometimes scary, but know there are good things to balance it out.

Relationships take effort. They aren’t always “successful” overnight. They need constant care and attention. Once you stop taking care of it, it will deteriorate and fade away. In order to have a healthy and happy relationship, the couple must know how to deal with the ups and downs. So how exactly is that done? Here’s 8 ways to keep your relationship going strong.

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1. Keep expectations realistic

No one can be everything we might want them to be. Healthy relationships mean accepting people as they are and not trying to change them.

2. Talk with each other

It can’t be said enough: communication is essential to healthy relationships.

  • Take the time. Really be there.
  • Genuinely listen.  Do not interrupt or plan what you’re going to say next.  Try to fully understand their perspective.
  • Ask questions.  Show you are interested.  Ask about their experiences, feelings, opinions, and interests.
  • Share information.  Studies show that sharing information helps relationships begin.  Let people know who you are, but don’t overwhelm with too much personal information too soon.

3. Be flexible

It is natural to feel uneasy about changes. Healthy relationships allow for change and growth.

4. Honest and Open line of communication

If there’s one piece of relationship advice you’ve heard over and over, it’s that communication is key. That’s because it is! Healthy and happy couples do not avoid conflict. Instead, they learn to have tough conversations which in turn, helps them learn more about each other. Doing so will also bring you closer and feel more committed to one another.

Because everyone communicates differently, this open line of communication can be especially difficult. Know that you may not have the same communication style, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you can’t learn to communicate effectively but you might have to try a little harder. So, set aside some time on a regular basis to talk about your day and tell each other what’s on your mind. Just make sure to do so without the distraction of emailing and texting. Be present, be honest and listen.

5. Embrace your individuality

Growing together requires you to grow as individuals as well. Even though you’re in a committed relationship, you’re still an independent person who needs alone time. So embrace your individuality, however you enjoy doing so. Whether it’s hanging out with friends, watching your favorite TV show, tapping into your artistic side or taking a solo trip.

It’s important to have your own ideas and engage in your own hobbies. A happy couple should always embrace each other’s individuality. There’s a happy balance of doing your own thing while still being a team.

6. Make the small things count

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When you’re in a long term relationship (especially when kids come into the picture) it’s easy to forget about the small things. Of course you’re going to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries but those only happen once a year.

What can you do to make each day count? Whether it’s drinking wine together after a long day, celebrating successes at work or reminiscing about the past – these are all great ways to make the small things count.

7. Laugh together

It sounds so simple but again, it’s the small things (like a good chuckle) that can make all the difference. If you can’t laugh with your partner, then something is wrong. It is important to feel comfortable enough in your relationship to be silly and not feel judged.

You and your partner should make each other smile. Understandably, life is tough and it’s not all fun and games. But it’s your love for each other that makes it all a little easier and all worth it in the end.

8. Practice forgiveness

Resentment, anger and blame are normal reactions when your loved one does something hurtful. Without forgiveness, however, little hurts as well as betrayals can tear a relationship apart.

“People who don’t forgive often have problems maintaining positive feelings toward their partners,” says Ms. Maisch. “But partners who move toward forgiveness are better able to maintain their connection because they make a conscious decision not to dwell on the mistakes their partner has made.”

9. Get help if you’re stuck

If you and your partner keep having the same arguments with no progress in sight, seek help from a therapist or marriage counselor.

“Above all don’t wait until your connection has been seriously damaged before you get help,” says Ms. Maisch. “Get counseling before one or both of you become entrenched in negative emotions.”

10. Know that not all problems can be solved

No relationship is perfect, and it’s completely normal to have your ups and downs. Problems arise and some can be solved, while some cannot. You won’t always be able to see eye-to-eye, so what do you do? Continue to fight it? Or accept what you cannot change? Rather than wasting energy on the disagreement, just agree to disagree.

Try to compromise or work around the issue. Relationships are all about compromise so finding a solution that you both may not love, is better than no solution at all. Be sure to share your point of view and try to understand where your partner is coming from as well. Although you may disagree, it’s always important to see where the other person is coming from and to respect their opinion.

The last thing you want to do is disrespect your partner. Two people cannot spend a significant chunk of their lives together and not have a disagreement every once in a while. The real test, though, is how individuals work through these issues. Whether it’s through compromise, change or just accepting the facts and not letting it get to you.