What is the different between Empathy and Sympathy ?

There is a rather large difference between the concepts of empathy and sympathy with the latter being a rather well-known word and value that people use. While they may appear very similar, they have a very distinct meaning and usage. 

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines sympathy as “the feeling that you care about and are sorry about someone else’s trouble, grief, misfortune, etc.” While this is a noble gesture and can somewhat generate a feeling of support with expressions of sympathy, empathy is a much more effective way to connect with those going through significant emotional pain.

Sympathy involves feelings of compassion, sorrow, sadness, or pity for another person or other people who are facing difficult circumstances. It is an emotion experienced in reaction to something that happens to other people. When you feel sorry for someone, you have sympathy for that person.

Empathy is defined as “the feeling that you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions” or “the ability to share someone else’s feelings”. Feeling sorry for a person automatically generates feelings of pity, which is not helpful in situations where people are in pain. Empathy becomes the bridge that connects two people together and creates a space for more genuine healing, understanding and compassion. By working on our empathy, it allows us to hear others point of view and spring us forward into automatically becoming more helpful.

Empathy vs. Sympathy: An Easy Way to Remember

An easy way to stop the confusion between sympathy and empathy is to remember this:

• Sympathy is a feeling you share with another person.
• Empathy is the ability to understand the emotions of another person.

To put it another way, empathy vs. sympathy is a difference between the head (empathy) and the heart (sympathy).

What is empathy?

• Feeling what someone else feels
• Actively listening to what they have to say
• Not judging
• Being aware of nuances and non-verbal cues
• Discovering their perspective
• Acknowledging everyone’s feelings

Empathy is the ability to understand and share a person’s feelings. If you’re an empathetic person, you can listen to what someone else has to say without judgment.

This ability to connect is not limited by your own experiences. An empathetic person can feel someone else’s emotions, regardless of their personal experiences.

What is sympathy?

• Having thoughts about what someone feels
• When in conversation, giving unasked advice
• Passing judgment
• Only noticing the surface level issue
• Understanding only from your perspective
• Ignoring or suppressing your own emotions

Unlike empathy, practicing sympathy doesn’t mean you feel what someone else feels. Instead, you feel pity or sorry for someone else’s feelings.

You feel bad for someone, but you don’t understand how they feel.

A sympathetic approach only provides a surface-level understanding of someone else’s situation. This understanding is typically from your perspective, not theirs.

Sympathy can also lead someone to give unsolicited advice to help the other person deal with their emotions.

When offering this advice, it’s common for sympathetic people to pass judgment. Unlike empathy, it’s still possible to pass judgment with sympathy.

What’s the difference between empathy vs. sympathy? 

Both empathy and sympathy share the suffix pathy. This suffix comes from the Greek word pathos.

Pathos can mean several things. It can mean “emotion” or “feelings.” But it can also mean “suffering.”

This means that both empathy and sympathy deal with emotions. However, there’s one big difference between empathy and sympathy.

Empathy vs sympathy examples

Let’s look at empathy vs sympathy in similar situations.

First, imagine someone in your place of work was just reprimanded. As a result, they feel sad, nervous, and disappointed in themselves.

If you were to express sympathy, you could tell them that you’re sorry that they’re going through this. However, this wouldn’t stop you from feeling judgment towards their situation.

Perhaps you judge them for having been reprimanded. Some people might even say, “At least you still have your job!”

On the other hand, you wouldn’t say this if you were an empath. With empathy, you feel the sadness, nervousness, and disappointment the other person feels. You care about their well-being.

You can let them know they’re not alone. You don’t need to find a solution to their problem. Instead, you can say something like:

“I’m really sorry. I’m so glad you told me. I’m here for you.”

You resist the urge to try to make it go away.

Empathy is about connecting with the other person instead of trying to find an appropriate response.

Here’s another example. If someone at work tells you they’re having marriage problems, sympathy could look like this:

“Oh, that sucks. Have you tried marriage counseling?”

On the other hand, practicing empathy means fully listening to the other person. If this is someone you’re comfortable with, you can ask them if they want to talk about it with you.

There’s no need to try to fix the issue for them. Instead, offer a moment of connection .

Which is better: sympathy or empathy? 

Sympathy doesn’t help you build deep connections with other people. This is because sympathy only offers surface-level understanding. It doesn’t allow you to see from someone else’s perspective.

On the other hand, empathy lets you walk in someone else’s shoes. As a result, you can better provide what they really need.

In the workplace, empathy can help you connect with your peers and get on the same level as them. Doing so can help you build a high-performance team.

4 ways to practice empathy

Practicing empathy, especially at work, is no easy feat. If you have a leadership position in your organization, practicing empathy and making it a priority is key to building a more resilient workforce.

Here are four ways you can do so:

1. Listen actively instead of focusing on what to say next

Even when listening to someone else, people are often focused on their own thoughts.

It’s easy to think about what to say next instead of focusing on what the other person is saying. This gets in the way of fully and actively listening to the other person. It also makes it difficult to understand the emotions of another person.

Failure to listen will make it difficult to empathize. 

Instead of focusing on your response, pay close attention to what someone is telling you. Listen attentively, not just for their words, but for other non-verbal cues, too.

Watch their body language and tone of voice to understand how they feel. You can easily miss these signals when you’re focused on your own response.

When the other person is finished speaking, take a moment to process the information. Only once you’ve processed all nuances of the conversation should you focus on what you want to say.

If you have a position of leadership, encourage your team to practice active listening.

2. Repeat in your own words

One of the first things you can say after listening to someone is to repeat what they’ve said but in your own words.

You can phrase this as something that you’ve heard.

Here’s an example:

“What I’m hearing is that you don’t feel valued in the team when Jeremy and Sophia speak over you. Is this right?”

When you present something as what you’ve heard, it places the burden on you, not on the other person. If you heard or understood something wrong, they can correct you.

3. Prioritize emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is an important soft skill to practice in your workplace if you want to improve empathy.

People who have high emotional intelligence tend to be:

• More self-aware
• Able to manage themselves
• Aware of social cues
• More capable of managing relationships

In the workplace, it’s crucial to prioritize emotional intelligence in your team. It facilitates strong communicators, collaborators, and leaders.

4. Understand what the other person needs

Everyone is wired differently. We all have different needs.

It’s easy to imagine what you’d need if you were in the same situation as someone else. But what you need isn’t necessarily the same as what they need.

Resist the urge to automatically leap to conclusions about what someone needs when they tell you what they’re going through.

Instead, use your listening skills to figure out what they need. If you’re not sure, ask. It’s better to ask someone what they need than to assume and provide the wrong kind of support.

Reference : psychmc.com