အောက်ဆုံးထိ ဆွဲကြည့်​​ပေးကြပါ ခင်ဗျာ

Self-confidence is important for moving through life in a pleasant way. How exactly does self-confidence come about? And why does it sometimes falter? Psychologist Shannon explains what self-confidence is – and what you can do to keep it up.

What is self-confidence

In psychology, we distinguish between your innate disposition—known as nature—and the experiences you acquire throughout your life—known as nurture—that serve as the foundation for your development. In addition, how confident or insecure you feel in certain situations is influenced by these two factors.

Do you have a strong personality because of your parents? Then that affects your self-assurance. Have you ever had a presentation at school that made you laugh once? Then that influences your confidence. This can happen structurally from time to time, as in bullying. Evasion can then happen: you then, at that point, stay away from circumstances in your work or in your public activity all together not to be presented to that terrible inclination once more.

Social media or not?

The use of social media is discussed when it comes to self-confidence for a reason. Shannon: ‘We are group animals, we want to belong. Realistic or not: it is human nature that we want to meet the ideal standard that is presented on social media. If you notice that you already naturally struggle a bit with your self-image, then using social media will probably reinforce this.

“Realistic or not, it is human for us to want to meet the ideal standard presented on social media.”

Culture also plays a role in self-confidence. In our society, for example, individual performance is central, while in Asia the collective is predominantly considered more important. Individual failure therefore carries more weight in our society: if you don’t know what you’re doing or if you don’t succeed for a moment, it feels like your own fault. The adage “let’s keep it fun” also holds strong with us. That does not help much when you feel ashamed or vulnerable. Good to know: these feelings often diminish as you get older: our ability to put things into perspective grows with age.

How to increase your self-confidence

Does it matter for your fearlessness whether you are at home or at work? ‘ Somewhat. Naturally, how safe or unsafe a job is can be affected by the culture of the company and a good job match. However, the experiences that shaped your self-confidence, for better or worse, you always carry with you like a backpack in every circumstance.

Thankfully, that backpack does not have a zipper: it is generally conceivable to add to it relativizing and fortifying encounters.’

1. Realize: it is normal

Everyone feels insecure at some point in their lives. Even artists who are performing for the umpteenth time in front of millions of people. It’s not weird or stupid if you’re insecure.

2. Focus on the positive and celebrate your success!

Write down 3 points for yourself every night, focusing on what you did well or what went well because of you. (For example, “I cooked healthy for myself today.”)

3. Ask people around you for your positive attributes

Often the image you have of yourself is unfairly a lot less rosy than how other people see you. Ask, ‘When you think of me as a person, what comes to mind?’

4. Don’t compare yourself too much to other people

Don’t look at other bodies, careers, achievements or houses: focus on yourself and neutrally assess your own situation. It is unrealistic to compare yourself with a top athlete when you have just started with sports. Training your mind is the same way as training your body: practice a lot and be routine, then it will come easier and easier.

5. Look at yourself with mildness

Do you regret something you said? Do you think you made a mistake? Think about what you would say to a friend who was in your shoes. Write it down and say it to yourself in the mirror.

6. Take a critical look at your social media

What does social media do to you? If you find that using it sometimes leaves a negative aftertaste, think about what can go out the door and what you really like. Set a maximum usage time for yourself and think: what could you do with the time you have left?

7. Lower the bar

Even with a few percentages less performance, it is still more than enough to get by.

8. Replace ‘I need to’ with ‘I may’

Now look if you still want to do things. Allow yourself to ‘not do’ something when you need time for yourself.

9. Give yourself some time

Insecurity doesn’t happen or change overnight. Self-confidence neither. Allow yourself some time and space to tackle it. Focus on the steps you are taking and the progress you are making, instead of solely focusing on the end goal.

Reference: openup.com